Networking is a word that can make some of us squirm. It carries the weight of awkward small talk, name badges and the subtle pressure to sound interesting while subtly angling for opportunity. But what if we shifted the way we thought about it entirely?
Take the word itself: networking. Split it in two and you get net + working.
A net is something that catches, holds, supports. It offers safety and the knowledge that someone’s got you if you fall. And working? That’s effort, yes, but also collaboration and process. Something you do together with others. When you put those two parts together, networking becomes less about putting yourself out there and more about creating something strong and useful with and through other people.
But let’s be honest. Many people dread networking events. There’s a quiet fear that bubbles up before entering the room: “What if I say the wrong thing?”, “What if I come across as desperate?”, or perhaps most honestly: “What if I don’t belong here at all?”
Sometimes our ego gets in the way and we fear rejection. And sometimes, networking feels inauthentic because we’ve only seen it done in a transactional way as people trying to get something, quickly, with little regard for who’s in front of them.It doesn’t have to be like that.
The best kind of networking is really just getting to know people. You don’t need to ‘work the room’.
Get your polished pitch out the window and activate your genuine sense of curiosity. Think of the last time someone showed real interest in you and asked you something thoughtful, remembered a small detail, or made you feel seen. Good networking doesn’t feel like a performance, but rather a presence.
If you feel nervous, that’s okay but do it anyway. A good way to start a conversation? Notice something you genuinely liked or connected with. Perhaps they gave a talk you found inspiring, so tell them that. Or maybe you both attended the same panel, so ask what stood out to them. When you start from shared experience or authentic appreciation, conversation flows more naturally. And remember, you don’t need to be loud to be engaging. You just need to be listening.
Here’s a simple template for you to keep in mind: Hey (name)! I related with (insert a unique factor from that person), since I’m also (thing you both have in common). Would you (simple easy ask)?
At its heart, networking is about caring. About people, their stories, their ideas and their wellbeing. It’s about creating a space where people feel safe enough to be themselves.
When you approach conversations with an open mind and a willingness to give without expecting immediate returns, something shifts. You’re no longer trying to ‘get ahead’. You’re building something more enduring: trust.
And the beauty of that? Over time, those human connections become the roots of opportunity. A chat over coffee turns into a collaboration. A message of support leads to a referral. A shared interest evolves into a business idea. But none of that happens if we don’t first see the person in front of us, rather than the potential benefit they might bring.
I’ve found that when you lead with genuine curiosity and care, you don’t just build a network, you create a community. A net that holds not only opportunities, but encouragement, insight, friendship and support.
Because when we focus on the people the rest tends to take care of itself. And here’s where it gets interesting. When you consistently put people first, business doesn’t just follow, it grows from the roots you’ve planted. The collaborations feel aligned, the introductions carry more weight, and the opportunities arise not from force, but from mutual respect.
In fact, research consistently shows that strong professional relationships are one of the biggest predictors of business success. According to Harvard Business Review, up to 85% of jobs are filled through networking, not applications. It’s not just who you know, but how you nurture those connections that makes the difference.
So no, networking isn’t just about gaining something. It’s about building something, slowly, intentionally, and with care. And that kind of foundation? It supports not just your career, but the careers and lives of those around you.
Put people first and business naturally follows. Always.
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